Beyond basic needs such as food. clothes, and shelter, what do our children need the most? That's the question we have to answer as parents, teachers, and adults. Here is a list provided by Mary Reckmeyer in Strengths Based Parenting: Developing Your Children's Innate Talents that addresses the question at hand.
According to her, parents should provide:
Direction and Guidance: verbalize expectations, help children receive good education, instruct them to give best efforts, model appropriate behavior, advocate for them when necessary
Concentrated Time: devote time and effort to children such as helping with homework, having 1-on-1 time, playing games, reading, or talking listen and hear what they express
Celebration: intentionally plan for celebration, provide positive experiences, engage children in activities related to their strengths
Recognition: give individual and generous praise, provide positive reinforcement, give rewards directly related to achievement
Emotional Support: provide personal, physical, and emotional support, express love in physical manner, be available to children, spend time together, listen more and speak less
Structure: discuss right and wrong, guide children to do things neatly, correctly, and orderly, provide opportunities to develop responsibility, model responsibility
There's a role that grandparents, teachers, and church members can play in providing the above to children and youth. Academic achievement and growth are, well, over-rated and even "idolized" by many parents. Sure, we want our children to do well in school, go to great colleges, and have a solid career. But, none of that matters if they are emotionally (and quite possibly mentally) unhealthy. Let's bear that in mind as parents and grown-ups involved in young people's lives.
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