Have you noticed that some people avoid truths? A business acquaintance of mine avoids the truth about his own health. He’s a diabetic, but he won’t admit that he has a medical condition. As school principal, I've seen a lot of parents who will not recognize their child's academic or social issues.
I’d like to share some thoughts on this “truth avoidance" phenomenon.
First, some people ignore or dismiss truths. Whether it’s “wishful thinking” or “sticking one’s head in the hole,” it is amazing as to how far people will go to avoid truths (or objective reality), and how that avoidance is manifested through a web of lies, as well as false assumptions and expectations. One’s crooked view or intentional distortion of truths can convince her to ignore the reality. Psychologists tell us that some people avoid certain facts or truths if they do not fit into their own worldview or perspective. It's the result of "cognitive dissonance."
Second, avoiding truths may be an acquired response to evade potential pain or blame. Truth can be very painful. During parent conferences, many parents avoid the truth about their child’s misbehavior or fabrications. Having blamed everyone else but their own child—blaming "bad friends," incompetent teachers, counselors who provide no support, etc.—parents realize eventually that the problem was right there in front of them, living under their own roof, acting like an angel before their eyes. (Or, it could be that parents themselves are lying to provide cover for their child... that's even worse!) Many people just wish that truth would remain unearthed, unexposed, and untouched because it can cause pain and shame. Third, avoiding truths almost always exacerbates the issue at hand. Whether it’s health or finances, or academics, truth-avoidance will eventually cause more grave problems. Students who lie about incomplete assignments may avoid immediate consequences, but their long-term learning and skill-building will suffer. Over time, they will face greater academic, social, and relational problems. Similar things happen when patients avoid the truth about their symptoms. Some people convince themselves that frequent chest pain is simply due to exercise or that that chest pain will go away by itself. But, they come to their senses when the EKG shows that something is not working, or when they are rushed to the hospital via ambulances (I know this by personal experience!). Avoiding the truth can be very costly—the price of truth avoidance s significantly higher compared to facing the truth.
Fourth, truth-avoidance will force caring people to walk away. It’s very difficult to help those who are unwilling to face the truth. A wife who will not admit to having bipolar tendencies, for example, will make her husband and children’s life a living hell. A chronic substance abuser will not only suffer physically, but also relationally, emotionally, and psychologically. It is extremely difficult to work with those who do not recognize objective reality. When objective reality is dismissed or ignored by someone, caring people around that person will eventually walk out of his/her life. Caring people want to be patient, but they have limits. They cannot all be like "Jesus": they can't forgive and remain patient forever.
Fifth, truth-avoiders find and attach themselves to those who will be sympathetic to their views. That is, truth-avoiders surround themselves with others who echo their position or perspective. In my line of work, when a parent is unhappy with how his or child is treated by a teacher, that parent usually seeks other sympathetic parents first rather than addressing the issue directly with the teacher or school administrator. In TV programs that provide help to addicts, there are always accomplices or co-dependents who allow, facilitate, and even protect the addict’s behavior. Co-dependent people empower each other (falsely, of course), and that is dangerous because their circle is protected by a shared sense of false reality.
The Bible teaches that the truth will set people free. But, if truths are twisted or distorted, they can actually imprison people. In C.S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters, that is exactly what the seasoned devil Screwtape instructs his nephew devil Wormwood to do--twist the truth. In this age of postmodernism and relativism, an absolute standard and truth claimed by the Bible is often dismissed as dogmas. Far from it. God is the source of all truths, and that can be proven through logic, science, metaphysics, and careful reading of His word.
Accept the truth and live accordingly.
Truth avoidance is a selfish behavior that can damage relationships, even the one between man and his Creator. Why people avoid truths is simple: people mistakenly assume that avoiding truths (ignorance or denial) gives them greater control and more freedom (temporary pleasure or liberty). That is just plainly false. You can drive on the wrong side of the road and wish that the oncoming traffic either does not exist or will not kill you. But, you and I know that that is an irrational thought/behavior that will result in certain death or destruction for everyone involved. Thus, it would be wise to accept the truth (in this case, laws of physics) and adjust your behavior accordingly. Now, there is the key! Accept the truth and live accordingly.
Do not avoid the truth. Do not fall for the lie that truth is relative. Do not deny the fact that absolute truths exit. The sooner you “get” or "accept" that fact, the journey will become all the more enjoyable, rewarding, and sensible.
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