On Mentoring

The term “Mentor” originates from Greek mythology. Mentor was the name of Odysseus’s friend, who was entrusted with the education of Odysseus's son, Telemachus, when Odysseus departed for the Trojan War. However, Odysseus did not return even after twenty years, causing Telemachus to set out in search of his father. 

Parenthetically, whenever Telemachus faced hardships, Athena—Odysseus’s guardian deity—appeared in the guise of Mentor to offer him counsel; hence, the word “mentor” came to signify a wise advisor or teacher.  

In life, there are moments when solutions or answers to the problem we face seem out of reach. Challenges like the coronavirus, riots, large-scale protests, economic crises, job losses, raising children, and other uncertainties leave people feeling intimidated and discouraged. Young people, in particular, suffer greatly from anxiety due to their lack of experience, skills, and perspective.

In such moments, the advice and wisdom of “elders” or teachers is needed. But where can we find such mentors? Where are these wise and insightful gurus? 

This is a false problem because many mistakenly assume mentoring is something only a select few individuals can perform. That is not the case. Countless parents, teachers, and individuals with rich life experience are actively teaching and guiding others as mentors, though often unaware. Also, authors and writers can function as mentors, too. 

Now, perhaps you're a mentor! Perhaps you are helping someone and guiding their steps. As a parent or teacher or a big brother or sister, maybe you are serving as a mentor. If that is the case, how can you become a better mentor—one who effectively prepares and assists the mentee? We can learn important insights from Peter Drucker, the father of modern leadership and management.  

He said, first, a mentor must be able to paint the big picture. This means helping the mentee (the person receiving your mentorship) organize and understand the situation they are facing. Typically, mentees are too deeply submerged in immediate circumstances or daily grinds to see the larger context. In such moments, a mentor’s bird’s-eye view comes as a refreshing perspective, ultimately helping them find a path out of a quagmire. 

Second, a mentor can help the mentee to organize and sort through mountains of data, information, and competing needs. 

Third, a mentor can re-evaluate the mentee’s talents and abilities. Often, mentees take on too many assignments because they feel that doing so is the only way to do their best. However, by dabbling in everything, they end up taking on tasks they shouldn't be doing or work that ought to be delegated to others. A mentor provides an objective perspective to help the mentee discern what to handle personally and what to delegate.  

Fourth, a mentor listens calmly to the mentee’s thoughts and words, and points out incorrect formulas or plans. Specifically, a mentor helps identify and correct the mentee’s flawed assumptions or underlying principles.  

Fifth, a mentor instills courage so the mentee can make decisions and take actions with confidence. When people are anxious, they are often paralyzed, rendering them unable to make decisions or take actions. A mentor encourages the mentee to gain confidence.  

Sixth, a mentor acts as a "strategist" in helping the mentee build efficient plans and solutions. Much like how Zhuge Liang aided Liu Bei, a mentor sometimes proposes strategies or methods the mentee had not considered.  

Seventh, a mentor evaluates results together with the mentee and provides appropriate advice by their side as they take the next steps. A mentor does not simply toss out a few good words and disappear.  

Eighth, a mentor helps eliminate unnecessary tasks and, if necessary, helps the mentee stop unproductive pursuits. Among ongoing endeavors, many yield no fruit while consuming time, finances, and energy. Yet, people often continue pouring passion into such efforts. When it is time to trim away or halt an activity, a mentor’s advice is invaluable.  

Ninth, a mentor points out the need for accountability and advises so that proper evaluations occur consistently. Without this process, the mentee will eventually fall back into a quagmire.  

Young people today need mentors more than ever. If you're a young man or woman listening, I hope you have trustworthy elders or teachers in your life, and that you seek their counsel regularly. They will help you make good decisions and find a sound path toward the right destination. 

And if you are currently serving in the role of a mentor, please sharpen your skills so that you can be more effective in your capacity. I hope the 9 items I put together here, heavily relying on Drucker's wisdom, will be helpful to your endeavor.